Adoption, in some ways, is a very selfish thing.
Wait, let me rethink that.
I think, for me, adoption is a very selfish thing (yeah,
that’s better). I don’t want to speak for anyone else on this issue, as I only
know my own thoughts for sure. I have read quite a few blogs, spoken with
friends who have adopted, and visited an orphanage in Sierra Leone with others
who were also hoping to adopt; some were in the process at that point.
Adoption is immensely personal. I've had to struggle with why I wanted to adopt, and will probably
continue to struggle with it, but I've
been able to come to a few conclusions. One,
I’m not pursuing this option for our family because I want to be unique.
“Chocolate and vanilla, so to speak; how cool!”
“What great people for wanting to “rescue” these poor children
from their awful homes!”
NO!
I really have quarreled, internally, about these thoughts. I've had
people tell us how ‘special’ and ‘amazing’ we are; and I often tell them that
this is what I’m about! It’s all selfish on my part! I've fallen in love with
these children that I met overseas and now have an even deeper yearning desire
to bring them into our family! There’s nothing grand or heroic or even merciful
about what I’m trying to do! It really is quite self-centered.
On the other hand, because of how I've been touched by the
children in Sierra Leone, as well as my desire to help and care for others that
have not been given the same opportunities as I have, I honestly do believe
that God has called us to pursue adoption (note I did NOT say “called to adopt.”
That is our desire and hope, but we have no guarantee of success in this regard).
We have friends and family who are outwardly very supportive and even excited
for us. We also have family who have made it clear that they do not support us;
some, even though they seem supportive, have questioned our motives and ability
to adopt. We don’t make much money; we have a child with “special needs;” my
hair looks really bad if it isn't Whiffled at least once a month, you get the
idea…
The point is, I think (here comes the ADHD excuse, again!),
we are going to pursue what we feel led to pursue whether anyone else agrees
with it or not. I don’t know what the outcome will be. Does anyone? What I do
know, however, is that I love my wife immensely, I love my children so much it
pains me sometimes, and I love some beautiful kids that come from a completely
different world than our own, and I hope to bring them to the U.S. to live as
Jeanes’.
That's funny, because that's exactly what I tell people who have asked me over the years why I volunteer so many hours, host exchange students, work on foundation boards, etc. I say, "Because I'm selfish!" I have learned that giving of myself in these ways brings back twice the blessings to me. Every time. So, I can say that I, too am selfish.
ReplyDeleteI know that every word you wrote was true, Dan. I can testify to that from having worked with you for the last few years. You are a blessedly selfish man.
Thank you, Patti! I've never been so honored to be called selfish! Ha! Miss you at Truman this summer, but look forward to the blessings you bestow on all of us, come August!
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